Manifesting What You Really Want

One of the many problems that people present to me is “How do I get the relationship I want? How do I meet my soulmate?”

What this proves to me beyond any doubt is that if we’re not in a relationship we want to get into one, and if we are in a relationship, we are always seeking something better, either by improving the quality of the relationship we are in or by searching out one that offers more.

And yet the strange thing is very few people would claim to be in a relationship with their soulmate, to have found that ideal person!

One of the reasons for this I think is that people enter into relationship as a matter of chance – most people meet people on a random basis, either because they work with them, or because they live in the same street, because they inhabit the same social circle.

When you think about it, this isn’t really a very good basis on which to meet your soulmate, your partner for life, somebody who you find you have everything in common with, and who can both affirm you as a human being, and enter into the exploration of personal development and growth with you.

Let alone, I might add, have wonderful sex with you!

So where does it all go wrong? Why is choosing a partner on a random basis, somebody whom we are genuinely attracted to, a recipe for failure? Or at least a mundane relationship, if not total disappointment followed by breakup and all the stress and distress that goes with that?

Manifestation Works – If You Trust The Process

The answer is that the reason we are attracted to people on a superficial, earthly plane, is because we are drawn to the people who can help us finish the emotional development that was inhibited at some stage in an earlier relationship with our parents or caregivers.

In other words, we search out people who we see as having the same deficiencies as our parents, to create the opportunity to complete the emotional gestalt which developed and was incomplete in the incomplete relationship with our parents. This well known principle of psychological development is one of the reasons why people engage in shadow work.  Shadow work is all about the exploration of the past psychological history which makes is who we are in the current day. It’s based on the Jungian concept of shadow – the fact that as children we hide, repress and deny much of our experience into the unconscious mind. This is the material we bring to the world which turns out not to be acceptable to our parents, or others in our lives. Lying there, suppressed out of sight, but certainly not out of mind, this shadow material remains energetically active and emerges years later in adulthood. And then, it can cause us no end of trouble.

Here’s some more information on what the shadow is, if you want to know more. 

Of course, we have some inbuilt defences. We have psychological defences that protect us from awareness. We have a strong Magician, aka transformer, archetype which is a part of the personality which can come up with strategic defences against memory and feeling of traumatic events. You can read more about the Magician here.

Video – the archetypes

Now this is all very well and good, of course, providing that we do actually complete the emotional journey from repression to wholeness with the people that our subconscious has chosen as being likely to hold the correct  archetypal imperative for us.

By the archetypal imperative, all I mean to suggest is that these are the people who hold the parental archetype with which we have unfinished business. And unfinished business, as you’re very likely to know already, means emotional inhibition, arrested emotional development, or emotional triggers which cause us to move into a regressive place.

You know, it takes great insight, depth of emotional development, and intense desire to enter into the difficult and challenging process of exploring our emotional shadows to the point where two people can grow together into the place where they genuinely form a loving relationship and completely trust each other. This is the complete acceptance of our internal lover archetype and what it can do for us in terms of forming a relationship with other people. There’s more on this here.

Most people don’t even know about this phenomenon of projection and transference, and so they never enter into the relationship in a way that will give them both a joyous loving relationship and a very satisfying fulfilling sexual relationship with a soulmate.

Transference and Projection

So this leaves us with a dilemma, does it not? How can we form a loving relationship when most of the relationships we form are actually based on unfinished emotional needs, which by definition can hardly lead to a good relationship in the present, here and now, “adult” sense?

The answer is to do it slightly differently: first of all to have the intention to meet your soulmate. Then to use the process of manifestation to simply attract to you the person who is the perfect partner for you. So let’s digress for a minute.

Most readers will have heard of The Secret by Rhonda Byrne; it’s the presentation of information about manifestation in a modern format. It is perhaps the most recent and most successful moneymaking venture ever engaged in by somebody writing about the Law of Attraction!

Cynicism aside, however,  The Secret does not in itself contain much about how to manifest your desires, whether it be money, success, or a successful sexual relationship. But it does point us to an area of knowledge which is necessary to achieve the kind of success in relationship that we all desire.

And that area of knowledge is how to manifest your reality. It’s much better for you to follow a modern-day expert. This would be one who sets out the techniques and practices of manifestation in a way that will enable you to easily use them to form a relationship with a soulmate.

My recommendation is to start by examining the power and strength of your Sovereign archetype. This is the part of you which should, in an ideal world, allow you to get what you want. This might be money, relationships, or success in broader terms. The Sovereign has all the qualities you need as prerequisites for successful use of the Law of Attraction and the art of co-creation. You can find out  why here.

Manifestation Is Your Key To Relationship

I might say that using the Law of Attraction is not as easy as it was represented by Rhonda Byrne in The Secret. One of the things she overlooked was the fact that if you have any limiting beliefs whatsoever they going to inhibit the process of manifestation and cause you to fail at successful co-creation.

(Co-creation is simply an expression which refers to your cooperation with the universe prior to the manifestation of what you desire to achieve in the physical world.)

So, if you’re looking for a great relationship then manifestation is probably a good way to get one. In essence, the process consists of forming a visual image of your desired partner which is precise in every detail. You then act “as if” they are in your life right now. And you simultaneously set about inviting the universe to initiate a series of coincidences and synchronicities. These will enable you to actually meet them in real life.


I want to talk about one very specific and slightly obscure area of manifestation – manifesting a good sexual relationship.

When we talk about manifestation and the law of attraction, most people tend to think of physical or material goods, prosperity and abundance. They may want a better home environment, a house by the sea, money a new car, or greater prosperity.

But it is a mistake to think that the principles of manifestation and the Law of Attraction are limited to bringing about the creation of only material goods.

Although they are very effective indeed around abundance, prosperity and wealth, you can also use the same principles to manifest more intangible things. These include better health, a better relationship and easier communication with your partner spouse. Best of all, perhaps, you can manifest a better sexual relationship.

You see, manifestation principles fundamentally change the way that people think or feel. When you manifest better sexual relationships, you quickly move a long way towards achieving your objective.

Think of how many sexual problems can plague people. You’ll see why mental techniques like the Law of Attraction have become so helpful. They are an adjunct to conventional self-help techniques or even sexual counselling from a professional.

The underlying issues that cause relationship problems often need attention. These are the emotional wounds held in shadow, to which we referred earlier. Emotional wounds in relationships often stem from the conduct of your parents during childhood. Contemporary anger or fear can be caused not by frustration and lack of communication within a relationship. Rather, the cause is often the inability to speak one’s truth  in an open authentic way.

In many cases, the problems originate in low or inadequate self-esteem, or perhaps in a low or inadequate level of sexual self-confidence. One of the ways in which these problems can be addressed is to use visualisation. This might mean picturing oneself in a situation which offers more hope for a positive outcome. Indeed, by using visualisation in imagination to change your self-image, it’s quite possible to actually change your behaviour in the real world.

No matter what the problem you may be facing, it may well originate in the deepest levels of the subconscious. So then,  techniques for changing your thoughts and feelings about yourself are more likely to be successful than almost anything else.

That’s why the techniques of manifestation can be used to improve the quality of your sexual relationships as well as the emotional connection you feel with your partner. For example, see what Teal Swan. says about this.

I also want to offer you a few instructional videos which can be tremendously helpful to anyone who wants to manifest.